Endurance

I'm becoming increasingly aware that some of my targets for this year are getting closer. And my main target is still an extremely scary prospect.

 

To recap, it is a Coast-to-Coast race, across Scotlandhttp://www.scotlandcoasttocoast.com/. It mixes on and off road cycling, trail running and a little bit of kayaking. Non stop. Not only do I want to complete it, I want to complete it having felt like I've done as well as I can. Feeling like I competed. I'm under no illusions about winning or anything, but I want to put in a good show.

 

So. Training... it's been there. I've done a fair bit. But it hasn't been as structured as it should be, and it hasn't been as regular either. I've bouts of very good, very focused training. But then weeks where things have fallen apart. I've felt myself reach levels of fitness that I've not had for a few years, then drifted back to something nearer "average". Much of this has been linked to my moods. When I've been down, it has often been so hard to force myself out. The prospect of doing something just felt way too big. I've packed my bag, got everything ready to run to work, then shrunk inside myself, changed into my work clothes and hopped on the bus. I've then beaten myself up about it. I don't understand. It is one of the things I concentrated on with my CBT... the almost self-destructive tendency to hide from the one thing that will actually make me feel better. It annoys me that I still let myself beat me sometimes.

 

Positive approach:

-Go for a run or ride

-Enjoy the experience, because I always do

-Feel better afterwards, because I get all the lovely endorphins

-Feel better because I know I'm getting fitter and it's a step towards my goals

-Feel better because I don't feel like I've got a "chore" hanging over me

 

Or the Tom approach:

-Think I must go for a run or ride

-Feel "heavy" feeling. Forget that this is a good thing

-Feel like I must go. Feel a bit trapped.

-Try to escape the trapped feeling. Decide not to go.

-Feel bad about that decision.

-Decide I will go.

-Repeat.

-End up feeling tired from all the thinking.

-Sometimes go and remember how good it is.

-Sometimes don't, then feel guilty for being rubbish. Miss the endorphins. Hide away.

 

Once I've got out a few times in a row, then all is good, I rediscover the motivation. I enjoy life so much more.

 

But... anyway. I'm feeling inspired by Pyllonhttp://pyllon.wordpress.com/ today. I think I might enter my first ever ultra-marathon. Actually it'll be my first ever running race that is 26miles or longer. I've run the distance plenty of times, just for the sake of running, but never felt the motivation to race. I'm thinking about the Osmotherley Phoenix, on July 2nd. I need to check my diary, but I think I'm free. 33 miles, so not a huge amount further than a normal marathon. But it is trail running, and it includes 4000ft of climb. I think it'll be suitably hard. Looking forward. A lot.

 

Better get training :-)

 

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