Run

Had a great run into work yesterday.

Wind had died back to a light breeze, weather was mild but fresh. Feet felt light, despite a heavier than normal rucksack.

Cruised around Roundhay Park lake, which had more runners out than normal. I know it is childish, and not a race, but I do like playing "hunt the runner in front of me", trying to reel them in as quickly as possible.

Surprised that I don't seem to have lost too much speed, despite not running a great deal in the last month. Ace.

Brilliant tingly endorphins saw me through a crazy day of "this job is more urgent than your current really urgent job, but they both need to be done today" type stuff.

Ooops

Turns out that I'm already doing the Saunders Lakeland Mountain Marathon on the first weekend in July.

Ah well... will have to have a look around for another race later in the year.

Endurance

I'm becoming increasingly aware that some of my targets for this year are getting closer. And my main target is still an extremely scary prospect.

 

To recap, it is a Coast-to-Coast race, across Scotlandhttp://www.scotlandcoasttocoast.com/. It mixes on and off road cycling, trail running and a little bit of kayaking. Non stop. Not only do I want to complete it, I want to complete it having felt like I've done as well as I can. Feeling like I competed. I'm under no illusions about winning or anything, but I want to put in a good show.

 

So. Training... it's been there. I've done a fair bit. But it hasn't been as structured as it should be, and it hasn't been as regular either. I've bouts of very good, very focused training. But then weeks where things have fallen apart. I've felt myself reach levels of fitness that I've not had for a few years, then drifted back to something nearer "average". Much of this has been linked to my moods. When I've been down, it has often been so hard to force myself out. The prospect of doing something just felt way too big. I've packed my bag, got everything ready to run to work, then shrunk inside myself, changed into my work clothes and hopped on the bus. I've then beaten myself up about it. I don't understand. It is one of the things I concentrated on with my CBT... the almost self-destructive tendency to hide from the one thing that will actually make me feel better. It annoys me that I still let myself beat me sometimes.

 

Positive approach:

-Go for a run or ride

-Enjoy the experience, because I always do

-Feel better afterwards, because I get all the lovely endorphins

-Feel better because I know I'm getting fitter and it's a step towards my goals

-Feel better because I don't feel like I've got a "chore" hanging over me

 

Or the Tom approach:

-Think I must go for a run or ride

-Feel "heavy" feeling. Forget that this is a good thing

-Feel like I must go. Feel a bit trapped.

-Try to escape the trapped feeling. Decide not to go.

-Feel bad about that decision.

-Decide I will go.

-Repeat.

-End up feeling tired from all the thinking.

-Sometimes go and remember how good it is.

-Sometimes don't, then feel guilty for being rubbish. Miss the endorphins. Hide away.

 

Once I've got out a few times in a row, then all is good, I rediscover the motivation. I enjoy life so much more.

 

But... anyway. I'm feeling inspired by Pyllonhttp://pyllon.wordpress.com/ today. I think I might enter my first ever ultra-marathon. Actually it'll be my first ever running race that is 26miles or longer. I've run the distance plenty of times, just for the sake of running, but never felt the motivation to race. I'm thinking about the Osmotherley Phoenix, on July 2nd. I need to check my diary, but I think I'm free. 33 miles, so not a huge amount further than a normal marathon. But it is trail running, and it includes 4000ft of climb. I think it'll be suitably hard. Looking forward. A lot.

 

Better get training :-)

 

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Blowing away Monday cobwebs

Now, THAT was a ride. Wind pushing me through jinking bone dry single track, drifting wide, casually locking up the rear end, nose to stem, hands in drops, grinning like a loon. Grinding out climbs, battling for every piece of forward momentum, while red kites hunted around me. And hooligan antics dodging cars, hitting the perfect apex around roundabouts, sprinting for lights.

Cake

My first review is up on Patisserie Cyclisme.

The website is the idea of the lovely Louise. Got a few more reviews to write up when I get a moment.

Morning coffee break blog

First run since I didn't run the Three Peaks.

 

Best part of a month. Just haven't felt motivated. Have felt low, have done a bit of biking, but haven't felt in the mood for really pushing myself (and I am almost physically incapable of "just going out for a jog").

 

On reflection there has probably been a few factors causing this.

-The highs of Skye, of escaping, of just living, no real-world worries

-The crushing low of coming home and falling ill immediately, driving to the start of the 3 Peaks after 2 hours sleep, 12 hours throwing up and unable to keep down food. Sitting in the car, realising that I was an absolute idiot for even attempting to drive that far, let alone set off on a 24 mile run.

-Picking myself up from missing one of my big targets for the year. Realising that I can, to an extent, make my head better. I'm still at the whim of passing bugs though.

-My ex-girlfriend appearing back in my life. I've never stopped thinking about her, but seeing her, talking to her, spending time with her, and laying some of the longer lasting questions and thoughts to rest (on both sides) was both cathartic and deeply upsetting. Almost traumatic. While exercise should have been my perfect way of processing and coping, I ended up retreating and hiding.

 

So today, I got up. Did think, just ate breakfast, pulled on my trainers and took the short route into work. My rucksack felt heavier than usual. My legs lacked the spring. I was breathing more heavily. But I was loving it. Why the hell did I stop? Why do I end up cutting out part of my life that makes me feel good? What causes me to slowly reach over and press the self-destruct button? It might not be copious amounts of illegal narcotics, or a bottle of whisky each night, but equally, allowing myself to stagnate is bad for me.

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Skye Day 3

Again... I typed this up in Word at the time... just after I got back from the ride.

Photos from the trip are here.

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Scenery so stunning that it’s hard to concentrate on the road. Which is interesting, as I have to dodge potholes, and oncoming cars along the singletrack roads.

Skye – Day 3… the biggie.

Fiskavaig>Sligachan>Portree>Sleet>Uig>Edinbane>Dunvagen>Fiskavaig

108miles

6hrs 30mins

I can only think of one ride that beats this for scenery… which was a winter conditions descent from Corrie Lagan.

Head feels floaty now, although that might be due to the beer I had in lieu of a proper “recovery” drink. Tasted a damn sight better though.

Sligachan – Camasunary Bay and back tomorrow on the mountain bikes. Brilliant.